In this social media whirl of a world what happens if you are shy?

By Tom Foremski - July 13, 2007

(From my ZDNet column: http://blogs.zdnet.com/Foremski/?p=188)

Sending out friend requests on LinkedIn or FaceBook is fairly easy for Americans but I bet it is less so for other, less gregarious cultures.

For example, I would guess that in Japan there would be fewer "friends" requests coming out of the blue. Same in Europe, especially in the UK, where I'm from.

Here in the US there is a culture of acquaintances which is not as developed as in other countries, or at least the countries I am familiar with. The culture of acquaintances is that I know a lot of people, and I like them, but I don't know them quite as well as my friends.

But that distinction doesn't matter much in the world of the social networks, and in the world of blogging, and Flickr, and Twitter--the whole trend to share oneself with the world...

But what if you are shy, what if you don't want to be AlwaysOn, always in conversation, what if you want to listen to your internal conversation, what if you value your privacy, your personal moments that you share carefully and uniquely? Will those people be at a disadvantage in this new world?

http://blogs.zdnet.com/Foremski/?p=188


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July 13, 2007 | Permalink | Comment | Category: FutureWatch | Subscribe to SVW

Comments (3)

You've almost hit the nail on the head Tom. If FB said "let me be your acquaintance", then it would be more honest.

"Let me be your fan" might work too.

Applying "friend" as a catch-all doesn't work at all for me. (I'm from the UK.)

Unless I've had meaningful and positive digital or analog(ue) exchanges with someone, I reject the FB 'friend' requests.

I have few friends but anyone looking at the list will know the sort of company I keep.

Stowe Boyd asked me to be his friend. Since I barely know him and our last contact was, let's say, a little tense, I rejected him. Bumping into him the following week, I felt obliged to explain my rejection.

He hadn't noticed.

Then I realised why. It's the 'tipping your whole address-book into FB' effect.

I was only on his 'be my friend' list because FB assumes that all stored email addresses are friends.

Yeah, right. There are plenty in mine who aren't. That's one of the reasons I refuse to feed it to FB.

A week later I got another request from Stowe, which suggests he'd popped another address book in.

More granularity is needed. Although I could end up offending more people through inappropriate (in their eyes) classification.


Tom Foremski:

David, I agree with you, it would be better to have some more granuality. One way would be to set up a private group on FaceBook to which only your closest friends are invited and no one else can see...


I fully agree with your insightful perspective, actually there is a similar thread at Frontier Blog
( http://www.hwswworld.com/wp )


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